Word Celebrity Blog

MY FATHER AND DISCIPLINE

My father, Clyde McDonnell (yes, I was named after him)  was the youngest child in a family of 21 children. At the age of 12, his father died and he went to to live with a married sister who lived in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He was the first person in his family to graduate from high school. For most of his life, he worked as a printer.

I was the oldest of his 4 children. In most ways, our family was typical of the average working class family  of that time. We were a close family with strong ties to extended family members. Every member of the extended family, honestly felt an obligation to help ANY other extended family member.

My father was a loving father and husband. He always insisted  on "proper" manners and conduct. You always said "please" when you asked for something, and when you were given something, you said "thank you". When speaking to adults you never used their first name, you always used the proper address (eg. Mr. or Mrs. Smith). When answering an adults questions, you showed proper respect (eg. yes sir or no sir) When talking about another family member, you could use the persons first name if you used the relationship (eg. uncle Harry, aunt Clara, cousin Lois). I remember being asked by a lot of people if I had attended a military school, since during our conversation I used "sir" quite often.

My father believed that if you did not show any respect for others, you probably would not develop any respect for yourself. Talking negatively about anyone was forbidden unless it was on a one to one basis in private. When I started dating, my father told me that if a girl was good enough to go out with, she should be respected at all times and if he ever heard of me saying or doing anything that was disrespectful, I would be in trouble with him.

Most punishment was the removing of privileges or confinement to the house or yard. I do not know of my father ever slapping or hitting any of us. When the infraction of the rules was severe enough, there was always the paddle. Whatever type of punishment it was, it was always done in private and never when he was angry.

A punishment with the paddle went something like this-
My father would ask me if I knew what I was being punished for, and I would answer "Yes Sir."  He would then ask me what it was, and then I would have to describe what I had done (in detail) to merit the punishment. He then would give me the number of whacks with the paddle that he thought you deserved.

You always had the right to say things in your own defense, as long as you did it in a respectful way. After the punishment, it was never spoken of again. He never told any other family members. If someone would bring up the infraction in conversation. my father would simply say, "I took care of it". He did not reprimand you in public. If you were doing something wrong. he gave you a long stare, or pointed a finger at you and then you knew you were in trouble. We were always allowed to play and have a good time as long as there was no hitting and fighting and not causing any damage.

As I got older, my father changed his methods of punishment. For instance: When I would be going out with friends, I knew that I had to be home by midnight. If I was not home by midnight, the door would be locked and I would have to sleep in the stable with the horse,  One cold Thursday night in January, I didn't arrive home until 12:30. The door was locked.  I decided it was too cold to sleep in the stable, and so I broke a small pane out of the porch door and let myself in and went to bed.  About 2 hours before daylight, my father got hold of my leg and pulled me out of the warm bed and onto the cold floor. As he was leaving my bedroom, he said "You have a window to replace before you leave for school".

I loved my father and I have always known that my father loved me and was looking out for my welfare. He seldom understood why I did some things, but he always accepted me and my decisions. I don't know if I was the son he wanted me to be, but, he certainly was the father I wanted and needed. All of his life, I always known that he was the one person I could depend upon.

My father was strict, but, fair.  The rules were reasonable. Punishment was swift and appropriate.

I believe our world would be a much better and safer place if our government adopted some of his methods.

CLYDE